Division I: Round 1

An intriguing set of match-ups to begin, to be sure!

Battle 1: Spatula v. Laundry

SPATULA:
--Pros: -Essential for pancake making
--Cons: -Really nasty-smelling if it melts on the frying pan

LAUNDRY:
--Pros: -Doing it is the perfect excuse to go to the laundromat to see that girl you like
--Cons: -Doing it is a stunningly boring chore (Psych! I love it!)

Battle 2: Turkey Bacon v. Paper Cut

TURKEY BACON:
--Pros: It's bacon that's made of turkey
--Cons: It isn't regular bacon

PAPER CUT:
--Pros: Gives you an excuse to not do things
--Cons: Really, really stings

Battle 3: Towel v. Tire Iron

TOWEL:
--Pros: It's a handy tool for any galactic hitchhiker to carry around
--Cons: Not nearly as useful for most situations if wet

TIRE IRON:
--Pros: Helpful if you have a flat tire
--Cons: Painful if you get hit over the head with one

Battle 4: Graduation v. Soup

GRADUATION:
--Pros: A milestone celebrating a transition from one schooling chapter to another (Not to mention the gifts)
--Cons: You don't get to see your school friends every day any more

SOUP:
--Pros: Either as a starter to a meal or a meal in itself, a bowl can warm you up
--Cons: You can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

Make your decisions carefully.