Divisions V/VI: Round 2

Don't call it a comeback, but The War of the Words is up and running again! ...At least for now. (For a change of pace, I'm leaving voting open for a week this time. So you have plenty of time to get your friends to come vote!)

Battle 1: Jeopardy v. Opossum

JEOPARDY:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Alex was in jeopardy after missing the Daily Double on Jeopardy!.

OPOSSUM:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The opossum played opossum to dissuade the approaching opanther panther.

Battle 2: Pimento v. Library


PIMENTO:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Shaun didn't particularly like pimentos, though he did enjoy pimento cheese.

LIBRARY:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The college library boasts a library of books, as well as various bored student workers.

Battle 3: Hurricane v. Potato


HURRICANE:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The hurricane left nothing in its path but devastation and Weather Channel hurricane trackers.

POTATO:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Gollum scoffed at Sam's description of the potato being used to make various potato-based dishes.
Battle 1: Lightsaber v. Grocer


LIGHTSABER:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Luke wished he had his lightsaber with him when he realized he still had a tag attached to his coat, and didn't have any scissors to cut off that infernal plastic doohickey.

GROCER:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The grocer wisely refused to display the grosser grouse.


Their fate rests in your hands. And... GO!

Divisions III/IV: Round 2

Finally, The War of the Words is back! I would like to say it's better than ever, but... Well, it's here at least, right?

Battle 1: Gravity v. Spork

GRAVITY:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Calvin began floating off his bed due to his family forgetting to pay the gravity bill that month.

SPORK:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Finding the idea of having to use two different utensils distasteful, Paul used a spork for his soup and steak with mixed results.

Battle 2: Helium v. Play

HELIUM:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Most of the leftover helium balloons from the party were rounded up and thrown away; Eddie, however, inhaled some to comedic effect.

PLAY:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The play took away all of the blogger's free time with rehearsal, set building, and various other worries.

Battle 3: Dirigible v. Veranda


DIRIGIBLE:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Jeeves carried Mr Wooster's bags off the dirigible, having secured it to the dock post.

VERANDA:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Mr. Wooster excused himself to the veranda, hoping to catch his breath - And some advice from Jeeves.

Battle 4: Virgule v. Vortex

VIRGULE:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The blogger, in his absence, had forgotten what virgule means and was too lazy to Google it for himself.


VORTEX:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The blogger felt as though his time and energy in the past month or two had been sucked into an unseen vortex, prompting his unannounced disappearance.

It's all up to you now!

Divisions I/II: Round 2

The dust has settled from Round 1. 32 words are gone, 32 remain. Which words will survive Round 2?

Battle 1: Spatula v. Turkey Bacon

SPATULA:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-With the mighty spatula, the knight flipped the pancakes, and the kingdom was saved.

TURKEY BACON:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The man wanted delicious flavor, but didn't want to die, so he compromised and made turkey bacon.

Battle 2: Towel v. Soup

TOWEL:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Since being wet all day wasn't one of his favorite things to do, Randy dried himself with his towel.

SOUP:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Ann, wanting something to eat and drink at the same time, decided to have soup for dinner.

Battle 3: Zombie v. Gerbil

ZOMBIE:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Jeff made sure he always had a zombie survival plan, in case of an uprising.

GERBIL:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Jeff made sure he always had a gerbil survival plan, in case of an uprising.

Battle 4: Pizza v. Hobbit

PIZZA:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-Pizza could be better, but it's hard to say how.

HOBBIT:
--Could you use it in a sentence, please?
-The Hobbit, having finished second breakfast, was dismayed that it would be at least an hour until elevenses.

Go forth and VOTE!

A Quick Question

Since I'm busy with school at the moment, we'll take a quick breather before diving into Round 2.

While we're waiting, vote in this poll! How do you want the remaining rounds to be divided up?

Option A: Combine divisions, keep 4 polls per post. For example, the next post would be Spatula v. Turkey Bacon, Towel v. Soup, Zombie v. Gerbil and Pizza v. Hobbit.

Option B: Keep divisions seperate as long as possible, only two battles per post, then one battle per post. For example, the next post would just me Spatula v. Turkey Bacon and Towel v. Soup.

Your vote!... Will change things, but this one probably isn't as important as the others. Still, go ahead and click whichever of those bubbles you prefer and press Vote, if you would be so kind.

Division VIII: Round 1

The final division is ready to go! Things are about to get very interesting... Make sure your favorite words make it through to Round 2!

Battle 1: Slide v. Wish

SLIDE:
--Pros: Like a little roller coaster, but with a shorter line
--Cons: No fun if you get stuck halfway down (The same is true for a roller coaster)

WISH:
--Pros: What can I say? It's a wish
--Cons: Wishes are NOT fishes

Battle 2: Pretzel v. Bend

PRETZEL:
--Pros: A tasty snack, enjoyable in either soft or crunchy form
--Cons: The salt can fall off and get all over you if you're not careful

BEND:
--Pros: I dunno, you can figure this one out
--Cons: See above

Battle 3: Ekklesia v. Screwdriver

EKKLESIA:
--Pros: It's the Greek word for church, so that's pretty cool
--Cons: Blogger apparently doesn't have a Greek font pack, so you can't see it's original spelling

SCREWDRIVER:
--Pros: Useful, especially the sonic variety
--Cons: It seemes when you need a Phillips, you have a flathead, and vice versa

Battle 4: Pistachio v. Wand

PISTACHIO:
--Pros: A nut with a unique taste (In a good way)
--Cons: Every once in a while, there's that one really nasty tasting one (Or maybe that's just my experience)

WAND:
--Pros: Useful for casting magic
--Cons: Not very useful for anything else

Ready, and... GO!

Division VII: Round 1

Two more divisions to go before Round 2 begins! Can you feel the excitement!?

Battle 1: Lightyear v. Utopia

LIGHTYEAR:
--Pros: A unit of distance that is really, really long
--Cons: Is often confused for a unit of time

UTOPIA:
--Pros: An ideally perfect place (How can you go wrong?)
--Cons: We aren't there right now

Battle 2: Hovercraft v. Fluff

HOVERCRAFT:
--Pros: It's a vehicle that hovers, what more needs to be said?
--Cons: Sometimes full of eels

FLUFF:
--Pros: Light and puffy, what more could you ask for?
--Cons: If something is too fluffy, you could die

Battle 3: Submarine v. Fall

SUBMARINE:
--Pros: Goes underwater and shoots torpedoes
--Cons: Not for the claustrophobic

FALL:
--Pros: The season is full of mild temperature and crunchy leaves
--Cons: The event is full of awkward flailing and painful landings

Battle 4: Garbage v. Stop

GARBAGE:
--Pros: Good for attracting flies, raccoons, etc.
--Cons: Smells real bad

STOP:
--Pros: Can be followed with "Collaborate and Listen" or "Hammertime!"
--Cons: Annoying at a busy intersection

Tell your friends!

Division VI: Round 1

Three more matches before the second rounds begin. Can you feel the excitement? (Just look at those match-ups! Towel v. Soup! Pizza v. Hobbit! The tension is palpable!)

Battle 1: Hurricane v. Ring

HURRICANE:
--Pros: Fun to track during Hurricane Season
--Cons: Not as much fun to be impacted by, particularly the clean-up

RING:
--Pros: Assuming we're talking about the kind you wear on your finger, it's a nice symbol of eternal commitment (Or something like that)
--Cons: Might drive impressionable Hobbits insane

Battle 2: Potato v. Paparazzi

POTATO:
--Pros: You can boil 'em, mash 'em, or stick 'em in a stew!
--Cons: If they're green, they're poisonous (Check your fries and chips!)

PAPARAZZI:
--Pros: ...Umm... They sometimes get good pictures of celebrities?
--Cons: Invasion of privacy, general rudeness, etc.

Battle 3: Lightsaber v. Goblin

LIGHTSABER:
--Pros: A totally awesome weapon used by Jedi and Sith
--Cons: I don't have one

GOBLIN:
--Pros: Mischievous, but usually not malicious (In my experience, anyway)
--Cons: Have typically been pushed to second fiddle status, so have little chance to shine

Battle 4: Pomeranian v. Grocer

POMERANIAN:
--Pros: Intelligent, friendly dogs
--Cons: Hard to take seriously

GROCER:
--Pros: Provides you with foodstuffs
--Cons: Really annoying when they bag the cold stuff with the hot stuff, or the dry stuff with the wet stuff

Allez Voting!

Division V: Round 1

After one of the closest matches yet, Vortex barely triumphed over Owl. What will happen in Division V?

Battle 1: Jeopardy v. Eyebrow

JEOPARDY:
--Pros: If we're talking about the game show, it's an intellectually stimulating thirty minutes of fun!
--Cons: If we're talking about the regular noun, it means a dangerous situation. Which could be exciting, but could also be bad

EYEBROW:
--Pros: Like mustaches for your eyes instead of your mouth
--Cons: Difficult to style

Battle 2: Biscuits v. Opossum

BISCUITS:
--Pros: Flaky and tender at the same time if made properly; a fantastic vehicle for bacon
--Cons: Not nearly as tasty after sitting out for an hour or two

OPOSSUM:
--Pros: Plays dead when threatened
--Cons: Has a silent O at the beginning of their name, which makes me think they're up to something

Battle 3: Breadfruit v. Pimento

BREADFRUIT:
--Pros: A tasty fruit
--Cons: Despite its name, not also a bread

PIMENTO:
--Pros: A pepper that plays a key role in Pimento Cheese spread
--Cons: Not very hot for a pepper

Battle 4: Library v. Dinosaur

LIBRARY:
--Pros: A good place to study, read or do research
--Cons: Your metal concert would be frowned upon

DINOSAUR:

--Pros: Big reptiles that lived a long time ago... That's cool, right?
--Cons: Extinct. Also, Velociraptors

The heat will be on!

Division IV: Round 1

Division III was rather one-sided for most of the battles. Which four words will prevail from Division IV, Round 1?

Battle 1: Doctorate v. Dirigible

DOCTORATE:
--Pros: Means you're really smart and can get a sweet teaching job
--Cons: Takes a long time to get

DIRIGIBLE:
--Pros: Like an airship, but cooler
--Cons: Dangerous if filled with hydrogen

Battle 2: Veranda v. Throw

VERANDA:
--Pros: Like a porch, but classier
--Cons: Sometimes spelled "Verandah", which is confusing

THROW:
--Pros: It's both a noun and a verb at the same time, which is pretty cool
--Cons: It's both a noun and a verb at the same time, which is confusing

Battle 3: Ours v. Virgule

OURS:
--Pros: Denotes shared possession of something, which is nice
--Cons: Not used very frequently

VIRGULE:
--Pros: A handy dividing line (/)
--Cons: Gets called a "slash" all the time

Battle 4: Vortex v. Owl

VORTEX:
--Pros: Could be a water vortex (whirlpool), air vortex (tornado) or fire vortex, all of which look cool
--Cons: Dangerous, especially if the Scylla shows up

OWL:
--Pros: Hunts mice and such at night
--Cons: Always wants to know "Who?", when the real question is "Why?"

Yeah, some weird words in this division. Let your judgment be known!

Division III: Round 1

The peoples' judgment has been made clear. Four more words are gone. Who will survive this round?

Battle 1: Gravity v. Styrofoam

GRAVITY:
--Pros: Prevents you from flying off into space
--Cons: Prevents you from flying off into space

STYROFOAM:
--Pros: A good, lightweight packing material
--Cons: Sticks to everything and is terribly annoying to clean off clothing

Battle 2: Watermelon v. Spork

WATERMELON:
--Pros: A fantastic Summertime treat
--Cons: Not very good out of season

SPORK:
--Pros: The convenience of a spoon combined with the force of a fork
--Cons: Doesn't do either job quite as well as the other utensils on their own

Battle 3: Helium v. Hide

HELIUM:
--Pros: Useful for floating balloons and making your voice sound funny
--Cons: Dangerous in large amounts

HIDE:
--Pros: Can provide shelter in a Survivorman-style scenario
--Cons: You have to skin the animal to get it

Battle 4: Bermuda v. Play

BERMUDA:
--Pros: Fantastic temperatures and the other types of things any good island nation should have
--Cons: The Bermuda Triangle is not a fun place

PLAY:
--Pros: Whether you mean a pleasurable activity or the thing actors do on a stage, They're both fun
--Cons: The confusion of definitions leads to some problems

The bracket has no conscience. You must guide these words' paths.

Division II: Round 1

The dust has settled from the first division. Let's move right along to Division II!

Battle 1: Disneyworld v. Zombie

DISNEYWORLD:
--Pros: -Filled with Disney magic
--Cons: -Really crowded sometimes

ZOMBIE:
--Pros: -Ideal antagonist for a horror film
--Cons: -Wants to eat your brains

Battle 2: Peanut v. Gerbil

PEANUT:
--Pros: -George Washington Carver found about a million uses for them
--Cons: -Makes you thirsty

GERBIL:
--Pros: -A good pet to keep around for company
--Cons: -Illegal in California (Thanks, Wikipedia!)

Battle 3: Princess v. Pizza

PRINCESS:
--Pros: -Seem to typically have magical powers, or at least a lot of cool things
--Cons: -They always seem to be in another castle

PIZZA:
--Pros: -Dairy, grain, and fruit (Tomato = fruit, remember) in one food, and meat and veggies if you put them on there (It's almost the whole food pyramid, all in one food!)
--Cons: -Good hot; good cold; not so good lukewarm

Battle 4: Potluck v. Hobbit

POTLUCK:
--Pros: -Brings the community together
--Cons: -Unless you're near the front of the line, you don't get any of the good stuff

HOBBIT:
--Pros: -Good gardeners/Ringbearers
--Cons: -Not very good at much else that involves labor

Make sure you're OK with all your choices. This is important.

Division I: Round 1

An intriguing set of match-ups to begin, to be sure!

Battle 1: Spatula v. Laundry

SPATULA:
--Pros: -Essential for pancake making
--Cons: -Really nasty-smelling if it melts on the frying pan

LAUNDRY:
--Pros: -Doing it is the perfect excuse to go to the laundromat to see that girl you like
--Cons: -Doing it is a stunningly boring chore (Psych! I love it!)

Battle 2: Turkey Bacon v. Paper Cut

TURKEY BACON:
--Pros: It's bacon that's made of turkey
--Cons: It isn't regular bacon

PAPER CUT:
--Pros: Gives you an excuse to not do things
--Cons: Really, really stings

Battle 3: Towel v. Tire Iron

TOWEL:
--Pros: It's a handy tool for any galactic hitchhiker to carry around
--Cons: Not nearly as useful for most situations if wet

TIRE IRON:
--Pros: Helpful if you have a flat tire
--Cons: Painful if you get hit over the head with one

Battle 4: Graduation v. Soup

GRADUATION:
--Pros: A milestone celebrating a transition from one schooling chapter to another (Not to mention the gifts)
--Cons: You don't get to see your school friends every day any more

SOUP:
--Pros: Either as a starter to a meal or a meal in itself, a bowl can warm you up
--Cons: You can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

Make your decisions carefully.

The Battle Begins

And here we are.

I suppose I might be the only one that likes online poll bracket contests, but I'm hoping I'm not. For some reason, I got the inspiration to go as simple as possible to begin - A battle between nouns. My list came from suggestions from my Facebook friends (Thanks, all!), and I arranged them randomly in this bracket. To start off, I'll let the battles run for about a week before naming a winner (In case of a tie, I'll flip a coin). The winner advances, and the loser is eliminated. Which noun will be the champion!?

Your part in this tournament is to show up and vote. Support your favorites! Tell all your friends! Watch with excitement and anticipation!

Or, you know, whatever. I'm just as confused as you are, but feel free to ask me any questions you might have.